hmm.......
its been nearly 3weeks, but seems like nothing works.
my medication finished in less than 4 days..
then pain strike even worst...
im really too dependent on medication..
eaten plenty of pills my whole life, even when i dont need it.. call me stupid, but its a form of throwing tantrum to myself..
like how i eat one fucking spicy bowl of just chilli and soup.. and then drank cooling drink...
just like that my body gave way, got sick in a few days time.. haha..

well, whatever it is, im still sick and i dono the cause..
i refuse going to the doc, for fear they ask me do scans..
omg, the thing i really dont want to happen to me, is being in hospital.. don ask why..

right now, i am heeding my 2nd sis advice, drink water.
dehydration is perhaps what i am suffering from and lacking in all the important minerals which cause my stomach to be very weird..
i know drinking water is like an essential.. but i am so lazy with things..

the only thing i want is for someone to hire me..
haven been looking around for jobs.. cause of my pain..
was thinking of trying to apply for something, but its night shift..
the last person who should go for night shift is me.. cause i am too prone to eyebags and dark circles...

nowadays whatever i eat,goes out back.. unlike last time, constipated as ever...
people say its good.. but i hate it.. it seems wrong.. but its right...

i know i am old... thats why i am prone to sickness...

my mum tell me i get sick easily when i am cold.. she always say my feet too cold, ask me wear socks at home.. sometimes i think she talk rubbish, but sometimes things she say might be right.. she been really nice to me, giving me massage when i get sick.. i feel like i wronged her alot last time.. i really hope when i grow up, my child dont do that to me, cause what i do to her, is really saddening.. but cant blame me, i get wronged alot too..
people pay too much attention to me but i prefer to keep my profile really low..and sometimes they might wronged me cause of certain things they dont know, thats because i dont say them..
people close to me really matters..

well, my life is prefered to be kept private at some point..
in my life, some times people come to me, and talk to me like they are noticing some things i do..and its been like that all this while, but what can i do..
i dont quite like to do what many people do..
i dont usually go for what many people go for..
i like to shock people more, if i could..

and baby is being very concerned.. he bought me bags of food probably to stuff myself hoping i will shut up-stop whining and eat.. lol. no no, juz kidding.. he been very nice to me, taking care of me, maybe cause everything i dont want eat and scared to eat..
what i tell him its like i cant eat anything at all..
anw, thanks alot for everything :)

my appetite been very bad due to my tummy problem, and what i want to eat is like what i cant eat.. like right now, i want to eat donuts and potato chips...

also what i feel like eating is banana cake.... omg.. i want it soo badly...
and pasta.. crave for tomato.. something i never will get tired of...
i am feeling weird, usually i dont know what i want, but this time i just want it..
first impression matters, but silly-ness catch my attention..

will be gone for awhile once again..
hoping to recover..
bye..

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